this is going out to the void.
i want to create.
i want to build.
i want to be bigger than myself.
but all it is, really, is a manifestation of my dreams.
the actual fucking steps to get there, i have no idea.
how does one actually live the life they truly want to live?
i have been resorting to cigarettes to compose myself.
what has this led to.
nothing but despair.